Intrepid

The one thing many people get confused is that there is a difference between hurt and pain. When something hurts the feeling will eventually subside, compared to feeling pain. Pain is something that could kill you mentally and keep you alive like being buried alive. Many people don’t understand that cause they haven’t experienced that feeling yet, and that’s understandable. Everybody will not understand you or what your going through. Sometimes those people may be the ones you love the most, and that’s okay. We wasn’t put on this earth to understand one another, we was placed here to do God’s work and do our best knowing when it comes to his expectations we will always come up short in this life of sin.

The ones who you surround yourself with don’t have to understand you, but they should be willing to accept you for everything that you are. I don’t have many people in my life who understands me, but one thing I will say is that I’m accepted. 

Pain can do two things, it could turn you north or south. If you allow it, it can ruin your life forever or it will ignite that fuse in you to go after everything your heart desires fearlessly, depending on the individual. 

My soul was scarred, My mind was flooding and filling with unpoppable thought bubbles and I still had to wake up every morning to face life and all my responsibilities. I could of easily went south, going ballistic behaving out of my character because if you allow it, pain can also be powerful. I figured I had a bigger purpose and I couldn't allow my pain to conflict with the morals I was raised on despite the pain I was feeling.  I had to go back to the basics and fight back, but this time as a man.

I had to sacrifice, take risk, and own up to my wrongs and work on it, I had to find happiness again. Imagine trying to do that when you feel as if only a couple people understand you, and those couple of people just isn’t enough when its 4:30 in the morning, your wide awake, mind in a mosh pit, no one to call, it’s a week day, everybody is sleep and busy when the sun rises and praying just isn’t working at the moment.......I can’t even count how many times I had to go through that. 

I had to start counting my blessings, the first one was that I do have friends, many don’t understand me but they all showed how much they cared, and that was enough to motivate me. I’ve learn that not everybody will love you they way you love them or at least show it. I’m okay, I have to be who I’am no matter the cost.

We are forever learning and I thank God for all my friends.

The relationship I have with my family isn’t where I want it to be a hundred percent but they will have to understand that one of us has to go after those silver spoons, those real silver spoons. I’m blessed to have them here, and I will make them proud.

Pain will come, rather its death, relationships, or sickness, and all the negative things life will throw at us, which could cause dejection and sink you if you allow it. I had to admit this but I almost gave up on life, not suicide but just life. Settling for what was in front of me and dragging my feet through life.

But if it wasn’t for GOD, and his word. I would have been lost completely a hundred percent even when I didn’t want to pray or feel like picking up the book, He was always there. But i'm not here to get into my beliefs, Im here to give testimony to the fact that I was in a cold, bottomless, exhausting, and mentally screwed up place in my life and God gives me the energy and strength to make myself better. I know its working cause you and I both can see the results inside and out.

 Don’t let anything ruin the one life you have to live, don’t ruin it for yourself. Take risk and fall forward while moving forward and as long as your doing that no one can tell you anything and don’t let them. Some people’s journeys are a lot smoother then others and they may not ever understand.

border yourself with those who carry a positive vibe every where they go, we will never find that perfect friend or partner but they have to be willing to accept you for a life time, no matter what, and vise versa 

That’s special…..

I almost lost my faith in God but through it all I’ve never prayed so hard. My faith kept me alive, the more I think about it the more I realize that my faith in him probably saved my life before but I’m just now realizing it at the age of twenty four. I want to get lost in this world, for the better. Get lost until I find myself completely cause apparently I didn’t know myself as good as I thought. I’am not apart of any system, I guess that’s why many don’t understand me, can I get a witness? Of course I can, I’m not the only one with drive, I surround myself with great people. There are levels to this life towards success, my lane may seem cool but don’t let me fool you, I’ve struggled like the rent hasn't been paid, I’ve struggled being lonely cause I felt as if no one was understanding me. What sucks the most is when your going through it and you forget who to call at the moment, its only when its all good your thinking normally. 

There is no book you can read on how to deal with love, its like scientist trying to figure out the brain. We will never figure it out, speaking it from the tongue love can be contradicting but action speaks a lot louder.

What will we have to go through to make us change and evolve? Mine was a relationship that broke me down to the point where I learned so much while sinking, I had no choice but to bounce back when I finally hit rock bottom. And I’am still figuring things out. 

As much as I want to express on this topic I can’t get to deep, I’ll end up revealing my secrets. Until next time. 

Denzel

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